open letters to my crushes.

crush #1:

dear e,

you weren't the response i expected when i posted that craig's list ad about stupid lesbians hating on butches, genderqueers, and tranny boys in the w4w section. you are sweet, funny and seem to have good politics. judging from that one phone conversation we've had and the slew of text messages we've exchanged, you seem like just the kind of guy i'd like to meet. your response to my being frantically upfront, due to the nature of our meeting, about being fat was pricelessly endearing - "it ain't no thang." thanks. i think you're a "severe hottie" too.

i'm excited that i get to have drinks with you on sunday. i hope your snowy travels between mpls and wisc. are, in the meantime, safe.

xo,
hussy red

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crush #2:

dear j,

i was swoony over you the first time i met you, but after your attendance at the femme mafia meeting where you claimed a "femme ally" position and sat back and listened, consciously making femme space and questioning what you could do to be supportive, i melted into puddles.

i know you're already seeing someone not so seriously, i know you already casually asked out my best friend (good taste, but ouch!), and i know you're poly and all that noise, but if you might consider kicking it with me for one minute, i'd mend that broken heart of yours like florence nightingale on speed, son.

just sayin'.

yours,
hussy red

p.s. stop sending me so many text messages. i read too much into them because i like you so much. the end.

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crush #3:

dear e (which is actually your name),

i saw you at the bar after pride in june 2007 when you sold me a beer and then didn't see you again until a few weeks ago. this time, you seemed to notice me...at least a raised eyebrow, big smile, and a "hey there" would suggest such. i tried getting up the nerve to talk to you, but every time i approached, you were surrounded by friends. you are handsome as all get out. i get all hot thinking of being domestic and cooking you eggs and bacon on sunday mornings.

they say you're single. they say you don't approach women. they say you like femmes. i say i'ma talk to them and see about you.

xo,
hussy red