my man, cuban.

i only have one friend who knows about this blog because of the fact that i'm supposed to be using it as a form of journaling. snooze, i know. anyone who knows me knows the only way i'd write a blog is if i could get a big queer following and be regaled in the online world as much as i am in the offline world (kidding!...kinda).

anyway, my one friend who knows about this blog has agreed with me that for archival purposes, i have to post this hilarious interaction that went down last week. i was at my friend k's house for dinner and i received a text message from some number in south jersey (SJ) inquiring if i had any bud left. i had no idea who this person was and decided to play along. it went a little something like this:

sj: yo, dude, you got any bud left?
me: totally, dude! come over!
sj: i don't know where you live. i've never been there before. i'm jenna's friend.
me: are you in new brunswick? (i had suspicions he was a rutgers student)
sj: no, are you still at ramapo? (another north jersey college)
me: no, but i can be there. where you at?
sj: pine hall. how long till you get here?
me: (avoiding specific details of my arrival) how much you interested in? just bud? i've got harder stuff too.
sj: about an ounce. what else do you have?
me: an ounce of kind bud with run you $50 (drastically inflated pricing). i only deal in cash, ya heard?
sj: what can you do for $20?
me: $20?! yo, don't be playin' on my phone for $20! i'm doing bigger things now. i'ma have my man cuban call you. he does smaller stuff. i'm out now. late!
sj: what's his number?
me: don't worry about it. he'll call you if he wants to sell. i told you i'm out now! peace!

ok, so, i don't know anyone named cuban, but according to k that was a good name for a decoy. i also think the possibility that sj thought he was calling up some dealer that he possibly has a completely different idea of (like some white dude with locks who plays in a phish cover band), that suddenly got all hard and tough, is hilarious. in hindsight, i'm just glad we weren't part of a sting that led to being arrested.